“I cant…believe…this…is happening.”

07:00
“I cant…believe…this…is happening.” It done commenced nigh a month ago when hung a sack of flour from the barn rafters for to hit. I’d had a powerful hankering to slim up a might bit ever since that infomercial on late-night TV. Figured could make my own dandy rendition of “Them Gals Done Gone Wild” if’n I merely slimmed up a bit so’s to become like catnip to the ladies. I wailed on that punching bag like the dickens for the next four weeks and then reckoned the time had drawn nigh for mischief. The following weekend, dapper as a skunk in his tuxedo, I donned my best flannel shirt with snaps, gave the shiny-toed boots a fresh spit-polish, and trimmed my 5-o’clock shadow back to about 4:30. With man-scent wafting from every pore, I sauntered out of the woods and down to the highway, hitched a ride to the city with the first semi-truck that stopped, and arrived at the fanciest watering hole I’d ever seen ‘round about sundown. I made sure the 8-mm camera my grandpappy left me was shooting straight and stepped right up to the first sugar plum I laid my eyes upon. Lo and behold, my time with the punching bag must’ve paid off, for this pretty little dumpling was sure-fire ready to bear it all. We set to haggling on a price, no sooner had we agreed on two t-shirts and a crisp 5-dollar bill than she reached around behind her and – lickity-split – had my left wrist clamped into irons. Said she was the sheriff ‘round these parts and that I needed to come with her. Of course, I was in no mood to spend the night in the pokey and lit off like a jackrabbit with a fox on its heels. Just as I rounded the corner, the door in front of me flew open. Must’ve been designed for peeping ‘cause it had two eye-level tubes installed on the outside. Well, as my rotten luck would have it, the two of those jabbed me right in my own peepers. I whirled around just in time for my wild gal to thumb my noggin, and now here I am on the other side of the camera.
07:45


“I”
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http://www.hanselman.com/blog/CaughtInTheAct.aspx